Updated: Sep 29, 2020
LisaRaye McCoy‘s “Cocktails with the Queens” co-hosts decided to surprise her for her birthday, but things didn't go exactly as planned.
Things quickly turned left in the latest episode of the talk show after the hosts invited LisaRaye’s sister, Da Brat onto the show for an on-air birthday surprise. Apparently, there has been a severe lack of communication between the sisters for some time now.
Da Brat stated “this is the first time in a long time” that she and LisaRaye have not talked to each other. This feud stems back from March when Da Brat came out and publicly confirmed her relationship/engagement with Kaleidoscope Hair Products CEO Jesseca Dupart.
LisaRaye was visibly upset and mentioned she was mad at Da Brat because she had to learn of her relationship with Dupart, through gossip sites, instead of from Da Brat herself.
“I just did not want to hear it from the blog,” she said. “I didn’t get to hear it from you. I had to see it from someplace else, so I’m hurt. That’s what I am.”
At one point, LisaRaye got fed up with her co-hosts for trying to mediate between the two sisters and yelled “I don’t care what the f**k y’all sayin’. At all. Y’all don’t know s**t. At all. She do. You do. You do.”
“I’m not surprised,” Da Brat said of LisaRaye’s reaction. “We kind of been a little bit distant or whatever so I know she’s really surprised. We’ve had a little space in our relationship or whatever, from nothing bad. I was just going through a bunch of stuff and you know, I didn’t want to worry nobody. And then I have a whole new significant other situation and I was kind of scared to talk to her about it. So I haven’t seen or talked to her in a long time.”
According to Madame Noire, Da Brat stated, “my sister can get critical sometimes and she don’t care what she say or how she makes you feel sometimes. That’s just who she is and that’s her being a protective big sister.”
While people had long speculated and made assumptions, there was never a confirmation of Da Brat’s sexual orientation.
According to Psychiatric Times, years spent in the closet can make the prospect of revealing oneself an emotionally charged experience. Coming out to oneself may be followed by coming out to others. Such revelations are not always greeted with enthusiasm, and fear of rejection often plays a significant role in a gay person's decision about who to tell or whether to come out.
However, LisaRaye's feelings may be hurt because regardless of anything, she feels she should have been one of the first to know. Especially before social media.
“I’ve always felt like being private is the better way to go, because then you don’t have so many people in your business,” Brat says. “I was fine staying quiet, but my partner is a social media mogul — that’s how she became who she is. And when you get with somebody, you have to meet in the middle. So to me, the middle was just letting everybody know: ‘Hey, she’s the one.'”
The announcement wasn’t planned; “Jessica was showing me some pictures and we were going back and forth, joking ‘I’ll post it,’ ‘No, I’ll post it.’ So when she did, I was like, ‘Oh s—! I just came out after 20-something years!’ But it feels good to share with the world when you’re happy.”
According to The Grio, “the social landscape was very different when she (Da Brat) first came on the scene.” Both misogyny and homophobia created a culture where coming out would have been career suicide for a Black woman in hip-hop.”
Yet, Da Brat stresses that it was her choice to stay in the closet, and that she wasn’t pressured by label execs or managers. “I was always told you want to be f—able to men and women to sell records — you don’t want anybody to discriminate,” she says. “It was absolutely my decision. I mean, you saw what happened to people like Ellen: Remember when she lost her TV show, and all these horrible things were happening? People were totally against it.”
Regardless of their differences, LisaRaye did make it known that she is happy that her sister is happy and "living in her truth".
We pray for the sisterhood between Da Brat and LisaRaye. We hope that these two ladies can respectively hash out their issues and get back on one accord. Gayes, let us know your thoughts!